Some people apparently have not yet received the message:

A key compound in red wine known as resveratrol appears to protect against many of the health ravages associated with growing old, new animal research reveals. [Read]

Red wine. Get it? You drink your red wine and you will live forever. Well, actually they say life will just be better:

Daily consumption of the compound -- also found in the skin of grapes and the crust of peanuts and walnuts -- broadly improved the long-term quality of life of middle-aged mice, although most mice did not end up living longer.